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PRINTImmediate Release: 10 March 2010
Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos comments on the Turn2us and Home-Start Mumsnet research which looked at how money worries affect mums’ relationships with their children and partners.
Dr Linda Papadopoulos: “As the results of the Turn2us and Home-Start survey carried out on Mumsnet show, financial problems can affect relationships in several ways. For some families, existing problems are made worse because of the additional pressure put on them by having to cope, for others dealing with a new situation like a drop in disposable income, or a reduction in working hours can lead to tension. And for some families, having less money means that they are no longer able to use money to deal with problems - for example if they tended to deal with difficulties by buying gifts or going away for breaks, they have to develop new ways of coping if money is not available.
In the case of children who are growing up in an increasingly commercialised world, lack of household income may raise anxieties for them in terms of feeling that they wont be able to keep up with latest fashions or gadgets- or they may be worried about the effects on their parents relationship (if the worry is causing an increase in arguing) or even their future. Young children may actually be scared of what it means for their family to be facing financial difficulties so it’s important that parents are there to make their children feel secure about what is happening.
One of the most important things to do to help the family cope with financial concerns is to talk about it as a family, and work together to get through it. By involving the whole family (obviously in a way that is age appropriate for each child) this will give a sense of control and empowerment over the situation. It will also engender a more positive attitude in that you are working as a team towards a common goal. Remember to be fair in the way you cut back on costs for example if you are scaling back on after school clubs let the child choose which ones to leave. It’s also important to remember that young children take their cues about how to feel from their parents so be aware of how you are talking about the situation in front of the kids. Its also important to stick to routines- children value and they promote security these especially during hard times- finally keep perspective- the more that you are able to make to see light at the end of the tunnel the easier it will be for the children to see it to.
Remember there are organisations out there who can help, such as Turn2us which helps families find out what benefits and grants they are entitled to claim.”